(YO, LOGAN HERE! This is the sekrit project Martin and I have been working on since last week. And guess what? I wrote this using MS Word, which is why the I’s are capitalized and so are the beginnings of sentences. Word does it automatically so I don’t have to use the shift key! Don’t get used to it, though, this is a special occasion.)
Instead of blogging with Zachary today, I’ll be blogging ABOUT Zach with his best friend Martin. Say hi, Martin.
Martin: Hiya, everyone! Happy tae meet you. As youse know, Zachary is in the YA Crush Tournament tomorrow, Wednesday, 25 July. Voting starts at 12:01am eastern America time.
Logan: Now Zach is going up against a very popular dude named Will, who sounds pretty awesome, though I can’t say for sure because the only YA books I read tend to have guitars (SHIVER, WHERE SHE WENT, etc.).
Martin: And I stopped reading when I stopped being forced to read. Though, Zach willnae stop pushing CODE NAME VERITY at me like it’s some new street drug. (“It’s PURE BRILLIANT, mate! F’in read it! READ IT NOO!!”)
Logan: Anyway. Amy and Jen from Fictitious Delicious did an AWESOME post on what makes him crushworthy. (Go look at it when you’re done here—it’s got real, non-lame-ass graphics and everything!) They pretty much covered everything from a girl’s perspective.
So me and Martin are here to say why guys—straight, gay, and anywhere in between—should vote for Zachary. Or if you’re just a girl who happens to care what we think. Or if you have nothing better to do for the next two minutes.
Zachary Moore: A Lad’s Lad
(all hot-guy pics from http://www.listal.com/sean-faris/pictures/)
Martin: You start, mate.
Logan: OK, I’ll say why he’s cool, and you say why he’s hot. We can switch off (heh).
Cool #1. He has lots of guy friends. This shows he’s secure—he’s not afraid of competition, and that he doesn’t need to be constantly fawned over.
Girls, never trust a guy with no guy friends. (This goes for dudes, too—never trust a girl other girls don’t trust.)
Martin: A’right, my turn. I’m particularly qualified to say why Zachary Moore is hot, because a) I live with him, and b) I’ve spent the last eight years rating male hotness.
I’ll tell youse things either he doesn’t know about himself, or things he’s too humble to share.
Hot #1: He’s built. Since coming home to Glasgow last autumn, he goes to the gym nearly every day. He also works oot at home:
(Note strategically placed knob in the photo. Nae comment.)
At the gym, he does aerobics, weight training, boxing. Aye, he has a go at the punching bag on a regular basis. Helps him release the rage inside him as a result of [SHINE spoiler removed].
Stop for a moment and picture this: Zachary in a tight, sleeveless black T-shirt, pummeling the crap out of a punching bag. His breath coming hard with the rhythm of his thrusts, sweat dampening his dark, wavy hair, pure green eyes filled with the fire of vengeance…
Sure, you can have a few extra moments to ponder. We’ll wait.
Meanwhile, he’ll get changed:
Martin: Go on.
Cool #2. Zach talks like a real guy, not like Cyrano de freaking Bergerac. I have to shield my eyes a little to read the scenes with him and Aura, but even when he’s being all sincere and shit, his words don’t make me gag.
Example, SHINE, page 260: “But then, I thought maybe this would never happen, that I’d never even see you again. And then every time I turned my mind to this moment, it went blank….I couldn’t imagine a future that would be so kind.”
I pretty much stopped reading there, cuz, um…yeah, castle. But you get my drift.
Martin: Aye, that’s important. I suppose.
Hot #2: Zachary’s even hotter when he’s sleeping.
How do I know? I’ve slept with Zachary. A lot.
Before youse get excited, I mean literally slept. Because of [SHINE spoiler removed], he had pure fierce insomnia for months. It’s not sae much he couldn’t get tae sleep, but he’d often wake screaming about 3am, then couldnae fall asleep again. Having me with him helped a wee bit, and his bed was more comfortable than mine, anyway (why do guest bedrooms always have the crap mattresses?), so I slept with him until he got better. Don’t judge.
Anyway, when Zach’s sleeping, it’s the only time he loses those lines between his brows. I guess it’s the only time he stops thinking and worrying, about his dad and mum and Aura and me, all the people he feels he has tae protect. It’s the only time he lets go of the burden of Being Zachary.
And no matter how cold it is, he always sleeps with one leg over the covers. Naw, he doesnae sleep naked, but those flannel pajama trousers do slip a little low on his hips now and again (aye, without my help—‘mon, he’s my friend, not my boyfriend).
I’ve no picture of him sleeping, but here’s the trousers:
Finally, he never snores, ever, even when he had a sinus infection. It’s unnatural, actually, how perfect he is.
Logan: SO much more than I needed to know. But thanks.
Cool #3: Zach doesn’t take himself too seriously. If he did, could he wear one of these?
Martin: Oh, is it my turn already? I thought you’d elaborate.
Logan: Nah, go ahead. The chicks talk about kilts plenty.
Martin: A’right, then.
Hot #3: Zachary never told you how he got that scar on his chest, just above his heart. Maybe he’ll give details in “Shattered”, I dunno, but it should be me who tells the bare bones, cos it was my fault.
We were thirteen, barely, and mucking about near one of the canals here in Glasgow, like we always do. There was me and Zach and Frankie and Graham and Niall, plus my wee brother Aidan, who was eight. We were being numpties, seeing how close we could get to the edge of the bridge without falling in the freezing water. Pushing and shoving each other like eejits.
Anyway, Aidan fell in. He couldnae swim. He got swept under the bridge, stuck there. The water and the ice was pouring past, filling up the space and keeping his heid under. He was drowning.
Zachary wasn’t nearest to where Aidan fell. He wasn’t the strongest or biggest of us. But he was first. First to dive in, reach under that bridge, and try to pull him out. The rest of us, we were just stauning there, panicking. I thought I would die myself.
There was a loose plank under the bridge where Zach was. It was sharp as a dagger, with nails, too, stabbing Zach in the chest while he had his arm under there, holding on to my wee brother. Trying tae save his life.
See, that’s Zachary. He’ll tear oot his own fuckin’ heart if he thinks ye need it. When the [SHINE spoiler removed] had a gun to my head, Zachary was ready to sacrifice his own life to save me. I’ve nae doubt he would’ve jumped.
And no matter how much pain he’s in, he’s still GOOD. He doesnae use his own suffering as an excuse to be a shite to other people.
Dunno if that makes him crushworthy. But it does make him my hero.
Logan: ……..Wow. So…sorry to ask, but, did your brother, you know, make it?
Martin: Aye, the wee bastard. Never thanked Zachary for saving his life. Prick.
OK, so there you go: Zachary Moore—a lad’s lad if there ever was one. So starting at 12;01am ET Wednesday, you should totally vote for him, even if you don’t have a penis.
posted by: Logan and Martin
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